Wednesday, March 19, 2014

"just a mom"

sometimes i feel the need to defend myself when someone asks about my decision to quit work and "just be a mom". people want to know when i plan on returning to work, or if i plan to stay home forever. i find it interesting that most of the people who ask me this are not moms themselves...
the truth is: moms know that it is NOT easy whatever you do. whether you decide to work or stay at home, you will certainly feel guilty at one time or another. i commend those moms who work full time. i know it's hard to leave your babies. i cant even imagine trying to look the part and be present mentally (or at least pretend to be) after a restless night because your baby didn't feel well or refused to sleep for the fun of it. and i know that some of your families depend on your income... and some of you LOVE and get fulfillment from your jobs. and that's okay, too.

this just wasn't the case for me. the moment of clarity came for me when i realized that anyone could do my desk job... but i was the only one who could be carter's mom. i am sure that the next 6 months will fly by even faster than the last 6 did, and then i will be sitting here wondering where my baby went.
sometimes the days are long. REALLY long. sometimes there is forced feedings with a squirmy, fussy baby. sometimes there is hair pulling (which one of us thinks is hilarious. i'll let you guess which one). or a baby that wants to be held all day (but not rocking or sitting in one place), and i cannot get a single thing done. i am often counting down the hours and even minutes until bedtime because i am EXHAUSTED. and after he falls asleep on my shoulder and i put him to bed, i find myself wondering why i ever worried about the dishes, laundry or general appearance of the house and not giving that sweet boy my full attention. 

often there is a messy living room, with burp clothes everywhere (until you need one of course, then they are no where to be found). i am constantly praying for patience and reminding myself that he will only be little for a LITTLE while- so i will soak up the snuggles, kiss those sweet cheeks and tickle that adorable belly... and try to remember every. single. moment. of the good days. 

maybe i will return to work in the future, but for now i will focus on being a better mom today than i was yesterday for this little boy, who deserves the very best.
"your greatest contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something you do, but someone you raise" - andy stanley.

19 comments:

  1. This is so sweet! As a part-time work from home mom, I can truly say that my days at home with Hayden are FAR more stressful than my days in the office. I desperately wish I was able to stay home full time, but right now it's not an option for us. Someday, hopefully. So soak it up and give your self some credit! You are so much more than JUST a mom!

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  2. Love this post! Thanks for posting! Sometimes I struggle with "boredom" and fulfillment, but the older Kate gets the less and less I feel that way because you are ao right...they are only little once. And I am grateful not to miss a second. :)

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  3. I love that! "Anyone could do my desk job...but not everyone can be his mom"...SO TRUE! I love your decision :) go you!!

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  4. I always try to remember that people are interested in hearing my story and why I choose to do things the way I do :) SO much harder to remember on some days than others, haha. But, phrasing it as 'just a mom' is just not ok! Carter is just adorable :)

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  5. Love this! Very well said! I only get to be a stay at home mom until September and I have no clue how I will make that transition. Kicking and screaming, I'm sure of it. It really is amazing how quickly they grow and how much goes into just one day at home with them. Enjoy that baby because he is growing FAST!

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  6. "the truth is: moms know that it is NOT easy whatever you do. whether you decide to work or stay at home, you will certainly feel guilty at one time or another."

    So true. I am coming to the tail end of my maternity leave and I hate that I have to go back. (I had a topup from my employer. If I don't go back, I owe them the topup back. I really don't want to have to afford that.) I love that you have made the decision to stay home (and I envy the heck out of it)! You weighed a lot of life elements to get to that conclusion and it's absolutely, 100% right for you and your family. (I'd do it in a heartbeat. I can't spend too much time thinking about going back to work - I get upset. Ugh.)

    Great post! :)

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  7. You sure got that right! It can be so easy to feel like "just" being a mom isn't enough and that we owe the world an explanation but it really is. We don't have to prove ourselves to be valuable and worthy to God. Believing that and realizing that we truly are the best mama for our babies is the best thing we can do for ourselves and them!

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  8. Beautiful post! All moms have the right to decide what they believe is right for their families. Glad that you made the right decision for yours.

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  9. P.S. well as long as the decision brings no harm to their children ... felt that I had to say that :)

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  10. Great post! I am working on one about being a WOHM. It's definitely not something I want, but it's something we have to do for our family.
    You're doing a great job with him!

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  11. i love getting to keep up with you and Carter on your instagram. I swear, his little smile just melts me.

    heck, you know what's best for Carter. and if what's best is staying at home with him, then that IS what's best. and it's probably best for you, too.

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  12. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about your choice to stay home with your little one!

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  13. I absolutely love this, Lori! We don't even have kids yet and I truly want to be "just a mom" :) I can't imagine any more fulfilling job, no matter how hard some days will be!

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  17. I love this post! You are not "just a mom", that's for sure. You are a rockstar, in my opinion! I have SO MUCH respect for mamas who stay home with their babies, because as much as I loved my 15 weeks of maternity leave, it was HARD. I don't think I could do it full-time. I am glad you guys have found a situation that works for you, and clearly, your little man is loved:)

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